“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
What makes us who we are in our everyday lives? Most of us will say, “Our personality, our virtues, and our decisions.” And yes, that’s true. But aren’t we also a museum of bits and pieces of the people we encounter in life?
For instance, if we have a favorite book suggested by a close friend, we may start believing the book belongs to our taste alone. But the truth paints a different picture. When you think about it, you’ll realize that your friend now occupies a corner of your intellectual world. You can find their presence in your taste and on your bookshelf.
But here’s a conundrum –
If a person is a collection of the habits and choices of several different people, does that mean we should abandon our virtues when the world around us behaves poorly?
If the people around us show rudeness, arrogance, and indifference, do we slowly start to absorb those qualities as well?
It’s a question that can bring a lot of clarity to our decisions. Because without careful scrutiny, a harmful outcome can take place.
Influence is inevitable, but imitation is optional.
The world will present you with every possible variation of human nature. In your lifetime, you will encounter arrogance, dishonesty, impatience, and cruelty. But if your identity is simply a reflection of your environment, then goodness would eventually disappear from society, replaced by a never-ending cycle of borrowed defects.
The human brain is not just a museum
It is also a curator
Others may be able to contribute pieces of your reality. But it is ultimately up to you to determine which pieces are displayed prominently and which pieces are relegated to the archives of your memory.
There is no wisdom in avoiding influences; that is never possible.
There is wisdom in choosing which influences are beneficial.
A rude person can introduce you to the idea of rudeness. But they cannot take away your humility. A dishonest person can cross your path. But they cannot take away your honesty unless you choose to give it to them.
Your virtues are not something that the world can casually take away from you.
They are something you have chosen.
Yes, we are museums of the people we have met. But we are also the designers of the museum itself. And the test of our character is not what we learn from those we meet, but what we hold dear in spite of those we have met.
The world can offer you an endless array of imperfect role models for how to live your life. But wisdom is what you learn by refusing to become one of them.
So, let others be whatever they choose to be. Some will carry bitterness. Some will carry ego. Some will carry impatience. This is their journey, their burden. Your work is infinitely easier and infinitely harder – to be the person you’ve chosen to be.
For in this world, the hardest thing to find is not intelligence, power, or connections.
But the quiet strength of being good in a world that often glorifies bad.