Does this phrase sounds immaturely kiddish or still brings grins and giggles? A phrase from the 19th century we often affirmed and our friends manifested in childhood days perhaps then not even knowing the meaning and the significance.
If you are wondering why I am talking of friendship & dishing out this quote on the occasion of International Women’s Day? Because this phrase carries the history of women and their struggles. This phrase by Ms Ethel Watts Mumford an American author from 19th century New York brings her life into the spotlight when the world is celebrating women and International women’s day.
Well, the truth is women & empowerment remains merely talks when women’s struggles begin not at some other corner of the world but, within her homes themselves. The daughter of a wealthy businessman, Ms Ethel was given a fine education, she travelled extensively in Europe & America, an experience that is well-reflected in her work.
Ms Ethel Watts Mumford came from her first husband George D. Mumford, a lawyer (married 1894–1901). After her first husband grew intolerant of her prolific writing and art career, she fled to San Francisco in the year 1899 with their only child, a son.
Ms Ethel sued for divorce, and after the divorce was granted in 1901, she returned to New York, vowing never to remarry unless her husband accepted her career. Ms Ethel’s narrative highlights the significance of how women then and in the present day are struggling to live a life of choice. No matter how to educated successful, rich you are nothing is an exception.
What’s changed from then in the year 1876 to the present? I see is the number of women like Ms Ethel who are educated working on great jobs/profiles and still struggling, seeking solace and their share of life.
A lending ear generous eyes of the society that can comprehend it’s not greatness she chases but, gentleness, kindness, respect, love, acceptance & belongingness from society, all to be herself to live by her choices. To be what she is, the way she is, the way she wants to be.
Now, even after centuries, the voice of women still goes unheard & her plights unseen. Human rights and necessities are considered privileges. She’s caged in the bars of stereotype mindset, perceptions permissions conditions implied from a joint family and the patriarchal society.
Inter-communal marriage, the power of money & misogyny still bar her freedom and raises questions over her choices. Strong chains of society are ever-present measuring her, judging her value & significance. She still struggles to have a life to live by their choice, dreams to make them complete and wishes and aspirations to breathe.
World place their expectation over her, pressing her existence is just to serve. Ever they wonder what do women aspire to be? What does she want to be? Aren’t women still struggling to choose not just friends as the phrase narrates but the life of her choice, from education, career, partner, clothes to body type?
This phrase carries the long history of misogyny & sexism I see, where parents, partners, siblings or relatives on whole the other gender of the society failed but pretend to cooperate & understand. A daughter a homemaker a mother are not the limiting boundaries but the avenue she explores and cherishes dutifully.
What’s the basic human need is? Is to be loved to belong, not the infinite sky but a bit of respect, a helping hand, words of encouragement a force that thrusts her to rise she seeks. Women give their best to make family members be at their best. She seeks the same regard towards her choices, her aspiration for her life.
Her divinity, creativity, her identity, uniqueness and feminity are subjected to be the labels tagging responsibilities, roles and duties. All the pain and plight to establish herself in the mainstream, empowering to reform the identity of self, to be independent, such as the story of Ms Ethel Watt Moundord from the year 1876. And even now, of every woman all across the world is the narrative.
How did it begins the wide valley, and will ever be able to gap the difference, achieving a gender-neutral world? In the end, the truth is openness to give and receive to be accepted without any bias all with neutrality is the need.
A girl in the womb of a mother once happened to be a girl herself, when she promises to raise her children all without gender discrimination is when the miracle happens. Grounding heel to stand preventing the flow of unbiased opinions and actions to the next generation.
All efforts that beings from home parting equal responsibilities and subjections never letting to ever happen something only women can bring in & we need now more than ever, women to bring in the change for the better.
As we celebrate women’s day, a mark of creating a gender-equal world, to make women independent and confident? Let’s begin with breaking the bias of indifference at the individual level beginning from home. Wherein between we fill the roles and responsibilities living the other’s narrative we fail to build long-lasting cooperative respectful relationships and eventually the society that let women not live by their choices.
We need not fix the women, a homemaker or soaring high with fabulous careers, we need to fix the system and all begin at individual levels. From parents to peers, colleagues, friends, brother, sister, spouse, any relation that one can depict in the word out of the dictionary only if can behold through the lense of equality, refrain from objectifying women, tagging her in roles and dependent identity.
Equality is to let her live by her choices, granting her the freedom to be what she wants. A homemaker, to be an entrepreneur or marking the milestones in the professional world, Hijabs at home or school, skirts, salwar kameez, saree or scarves, choices aren’t the contradictions, stop objectifying women.
If someone forces her to cover her head why mustn’t she protest? If someone forces her to remove her scarf, sure she will protest. Whether a woman chooses a burqa or a bikini, pausing carrier to raise kids, to take up a profession that is considered challenging well the true empowerment is to let her be herself, let her exercise her rights & choices.
Come and talk to her about her freedom and autonomy, while providing her education and empowering her. Do not emphasise on her the wardrobe notes, the list to chose college, career, spouse or children.
And when she ceases herself in confidence swaying in swagger and love for self and others in all what she had done what she plans to do, changes the tune of society too.
And as she will Identify the needs, establish necessities, starve to strive not just for existence but thriving to make history to inspire to share narratives of / for I can do it, so can you, she will rise, she asks for nothing but just the open sky. She has a role to play to pave the way forward as many women did for her.
Never surrender your career, change is inevitable and is the only constant, accepting the truth is a form of intelligence. Financial independence is the highest form of freedom that let you grasp the free world. Dream big and live up to them, achieve setting inspiration for those looking at you.
All that you undertake with efficacy & positivity, an unusual exceptional you, who does surprise the people around, try to surprise yourself too. Breaking the boundaries within, transcending stereotypes into unconventional thinking, fueling self-confidence following your purpose and meaning, Moving-shaking the comfort zone that holds you back and does not let you soar.
This women’s day take the pledge :
To be a better version of yourself. To love yourself more, to not allow: yourself to be prejudiced, judgments ‘n objectification, to be exploited for being a woman. Take a pledge to #breakthebias towards self and others. To include more women and to help others.
We all are unique and possess precious qualities, amazing abilities and talents, realize your greatness. It’s also true despite being talented and resourceful very few soar to great heights. Be brave, when you take a stand being bold it’s not only you that is benefits, not just you but you pave the path for others too. You inspire & impact others too to dream to be more to become more. Don’t shun yourself conceding to creep come out of your cocoon use your abilities to create a beautiful world.
If you are emphasising & paying attention to the people’s point of view you perhaps subject yourself to shrink your greatness. Don’t let the fog of fear diminish your vibes, hold on to self-confidence and believe in yourself.
Save yourself from the confusing world and, you will be amazing. Recognize, your calling is to be great, leading a meaningful life. You are born to not just survive but to thrive. When you change your mindset, you change the situation. Your subconscious mind is where all the behaviours that you want to change rest. If you do not find the need, you can’t change it. And when you change yourself, you change the world.
The rising sun brings new dawn, brightness & blessings,
A new world adored with flower bird wind moon ‘n so women you.
Compel Curiosity strength ‘n zeal for new learnings,
Comprehend women you are a winner to be.
Your Divinity ‘n creativity Yeah, threshold energy,
That transforms the world infusing values principalities love ‘n harmony.
Gently you can shake the world, burgeoning Change for the Better,
Open your mind ‘n receive as you see with the eyes of the heart.
Grateful for the past, welcoming gracious gorgeous present as you are.
Happy International Women’s Day 2022!