On Maintaining Inner Conviction in the Chaos of Life
At some point in everyone’s life, events start to question one’s identity with unrelenting insistence. The indifferent world outside does not offer much hope either. It breaks promises. And it puts people at silent odds with themselves. In those times, doubt doesn’t come like an instantaneous collapse. It comes in silently and persistently, undermining confidence one small step at a time.
But underneath all this disintegration exists an inner structure –
An inner axis that is untouched by all the turbulence that surrounds it. Self-confidence is neither flamboyance nor temporary euphoria.
It is the kind of confidence that does not demand constant reinforcement. It does not bargain with hardship. It simply accepts it as part of itself, impervious to its existence.
However, in spite of all its perceived hostility, adversity also has an unforeseen function to fulfill. Adversity strips away all of the superfluous layers of artificial confidence, revealing the true core from which genuine confidence ought to emanate. In the process, however, there arises an uncomfortable truth. In fact, self-confidence cannot be formed only under favorable conditions.
This quality is based on success. It is dependent on various elements of reality, which are beyond our control.
There is a form of defiance in clinging to faith in oneself despite contrary proof. Defiance, in this sense, is not denial in itself. It is loyalty to a principle of internal cohesion that is impossible for external forces to destroy. It takes the form of unreasonable persistence despite the uncertainty of results and a lack of confirmation.
The act of believing in oneself does not take away the difficulty of the task. One still finds the road rugged and full of hesitations and weariness. However, the existence of a fixed internal point of reference makes the task different. Difficulties no longer become a judgment on one’s abilities, but become a component of something greater.
This constant devotion to oneself develops a kind of toughness that isn’t boastful. This is because it doesn’t seek validation through praise or success. Its source of power comes from its consistency in its unshakable belief that the process of becoming who we really are should never be left behind.
It is this constant devotion to oneself and this belief in oneself that makes us human and it makes it impossible for the adversities of life to tear us down.